another kind of web site might just be a fly
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| following this? another kind of web site might just be a fly | info | |
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| Head nearly hurts with all that tries to get out... 'but it's not ready!' And it never will be. At a time when I see such promising developments, I'm being strangled by the opposite. Hey, this is a start, right? Drives me to all manner of madness. Consider the corporations. Despite the promise in certain things, I don't see things changing in general except for the worse. Nah, just jaded. Tired. Old at 28, and just surprised to have made it this far. +++ 'The things I still haven't learned:' he wrote, later. He couldn't remember which cartoon he was watching on the TV in Wal-Mart. He wasn't sure what aisle it was where he had leaned. But it had served its purpose. He began: 1. When roses should bloom. 2. When to plant anything. 3. How to harvest anything. 4. He trailed off. Thinking of outside, when the phone rang. "Hello?" "Heeeey, man." "Oh hey, man. What's happening? "Oh, nothing much. Getting off work soon." "Ah, good, good." "You be up for a while?" "Yeah, probably." "I get off about 11, so I was thinking I might head over there." "Ok, yeah, I should still be up." "Need me to pick anything up for you?" "Nah, not really. Stocked on smokes, have a twelve pack in the fridge." "Ah, good. I've got a bottle of whiskey in my trunk." "Oh, have one of those too." "Cool. What about food, man? Want anything to eat?" "Oh, damn, yeah. I forgot. What'll a cheeseburger cost me with your discount?" "Cheeseburger? Ok." "Yeah, but what'll it cost me? Oh, wait, I went to the bank today. No problem. I could pay 10 dollars for a cheeseburger if I wanted to!" "Uh, cheeseburger. I dunno, shouldn't be more than three or four dollars." "Excellent. Bargain. Thanks for remembering that food thing. Meat, cheese, and bread are all I need, forget the side stuff. Well, fries." "Heh, yeah man. So a cheeseburger and fries." "Cool beans." "Alright man, see ya later." "Righto, see ya." +++ Jack was definitely lost now. Glad he had the name patch on his uniform. He could read it upside down anytime he forgot too much. He looked at the screen, thought, Shoulda written it down. Shrugs. Hands go to home row and fingers wiggle in anticipation. But just hover, slightly shaking. So he lights a cigarette, and writes about it in his mind. Fingers far from keys, and probably too gone to drive anyway. Oh, the places, though! Smoke drifts off to places. Places stay put and wait for things to happen. +++ Ashtray gets a jolt, and he wiggles those fingers again. But finding little flowing from brain through arm, he leans back eventually and returns to nothingness of flitting thoughts. He wakes up a bit groggy. His brain tells him it's Saturday, so he's unconcerned, although still in his uniform. +++ This seems to be the hall. I've slept in the hall again. At least that still only happens on weekends. We're a sinking ship here, for sure. I better see what's up. Holy shit, why am I awake at 6:30AM? Oh, right. Never mind. Ok, bedroom clear. Kitchen... I see the usual mess, plus some... Ah, there's Man on the couch. Ah, right, food was in the new styrofoam decorations. A few more bottles. Did I...or am I... Oh yeah, he had another bottle of whiskey. I'm not seeing double. But hey, I should grab a beer. +++ Soon he's in the rocking chair. Man doesn't move much. Breathes deep. His thoughts turn to the gumbo. Sam's gumbo. Coconuts and six spoons. Recent information indicates that Sam has a birthday soon. 'But man, I don't want to drive down there. To a pub, no less, but still,' he mumbles. His eyes are faraway, driving there in his mind and failing to find the pleasure. 'No, some of us should stay put and just be anchors.' He looks over at Man and chuckles. 'There must be couches maintained, places for crashers, even the regulars. This is living. At least on weekends.' |
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